Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Mr. Moody
I think I must have been around eight or nine years old when I learned how to swim. My brother and I would go over to this mans house who weighed close to 300 pounds. His name was Mr. Moody and he was a one legged organ player at Moonshadows on PCH. His wife always wore moo moos, had a drink in her hand and often lost her balance. I don’t remember how he lost his leg but he had the nicest pool in Santa Susanna. It had a black bottom and was trimmed with rock. He was a great swimmer even just having the one leg. His wife would serve us punch and cookies as we lay on lounge chairs in the sun while Mr. Moody played some up beat tune on his Wurlitzer inside. One day when his wife had returned from her daily visit to the liquor store for her bottle of Vodka she found him with his head down on his Wurlitzer. He had a single gun shot wound to his head. She went and made herself a drink before she called the cops. I heard my parents talking one night about how they thought his wife had really murdered him. After collecting the insurance money she sold the place and moved in with some barfly named Mick. She had met him at this bar not too far from her house called The Sip and Sub. I remember seeing the Wurlitzer on trash day out in front of their house with a sign that said free. I felt really sad after that and never walked by their house again.
Old Man Bastard
I have lived in a trailer park for over fifteen years next to a crazy old man. When I first moved here the man kept to himself and wouldn’t say anything then as the years went by he began to mumble things to me. A few times while I was in my backyard he yelled at me that I was a bitch and I should stop messing with his stuff. I have never touched his stuff whatever his stuff is. Last night while I was throwing a desk out my front door to be picked up by the trash collectors there was a group of kids playing. The old man was coming out of his house and when he reached his driveway he picked up a newspaper and threw it into my bushes. I picked it up and threw it on his driveway. The kids all watched this happen. He yelled at me that he doesn’t take the paper and I told him that there was a trash can in his driveway that he should just throw it away. He went back into his house and started swearing. The kids were all laughing and telling me how they thought he had bodies buried in his backyard. That he was always yelling at them. Tonight the kids were out again they even knocked on my door a few times but I didn’t answer it. It was about a half hour later that I hear the old man yelling at the kids. Then I hear an adult yelling back at him. I go out to see what’s going on and the security guard is trying to talk to the old man. When the old man sees me he calls me a fucking bitch and says something about newspapers. He is swearing in front of these kids and saying how he is sick of being harassed. He tells the security guard that the kids threw a bunch of newspapers on his porch because I told them about the newspaper yesterday. I pointed my finger at him and said the kids saw the whole thing that happened yesterday. He kept saying I was a fucking bitch and the security guard told him to stop swearing at the kids. Then the stupid white trash fat ass grandmother of the kids comes and gets the kids. She apologizes to the old man and I try to explain that it’s not just all the kids fault. But she tells me how she works with old people. She wasn’t even listening to me. Then I come in and I call the park manager who says that the kids shouldn’t even be out after dark. I am trying to explain about how crazy the old man has gotten and how I can’t even go into my backyard without him calling me a bitch. But all she could say was that she knew he was getting worse but she was more concerned with the kids being out. It was only around 7pm and the kids were just playing a few houses down from their own houses. Granted the kids shouldn’t throw all the newspapers on the old fucks porch but he has been yelling at these poor trailer trash kids for years. Yes these kids are annoying at times but they are kids and if it was up to them they most likely wouldn’t be living in a trailer park. The park manager was in a hurry to hang up and said she had to call security to get his side of the story. There must be something in the air because now the Korean family on the corner is yelling and screaming at each other. Perhaps the Santa Anna’s are on their way in. People get a little crazy during that dry still air before the angry winds come. I just hope the miserable old man doesn’t kill me as I sleep.
Me
Since I have been unemployed and hanging out at home I have been talking to some of my neighbors. I met a 300 pound woman who has a crazy teenage daughter who already has two kids who have autism. The woman must be on SSI since she cares for her ill mother. See I live in what they call a mobile home park but it’s really a trailer park with some fancy newer mansion like mobile homes. Back to the woman. Yesterday I ran into her at the local Target. I was walking in and I hear "Hey Neighbor". She said it twice. Then we stood there as she talked about all the creepy low lives that live in the park, Mary a drunk who has a brain tumor who lost her son twenty years ago in a fire and she was burnt over 30 percent of her body. Mary once invited me into her mobile to show me all these things she makes from dead flowers and when she showed me a photo of her dead son she started crying. Then she told me how she wanted to poison her husband. One time she tripped over a speed bump in front of my trailer and busted her head open when she was drunk. I didn't even hear it until I heard sirens and saw the fire dept out front. This woman was telling me about all the guys in the park that Mary fucked. Then she moved onto this guy who she says is a meth freak who rides his bike everywhere. I see him all over Chatsworth pedaling his bike. His bike was stolen the other day so now he walks everywhere. Then there is Cami who also has a kid with Autism. A single mom on methadone with scoliosis who is in consent pain and who I have watched getting more of a hunchback as time goes on. She is an attractive woman and because she didn’t get the surgery she needed its too late now because it has progressed so fast. There is this trailer of low lives where this woman they call grandma who is a drunk takes care of her son’s kids who is in prison. It’s a little girl and there was a little boy but he seems to have disappeared. A couple of times I saw this creepy man with the little girl on his lap in one of those old scary house vans, driving up and down the street. He was letting her drive but she was on his lap which creeped me out. Child services had made many visits to that house but they don’t do anything.
We are still at Target and she is still talking. She tells me about this woman who was fresh out of prison that I saw around here for a while with her son. She was staying at the house of Grandma for a while. Her little son must have been around ten. He loved motorcycles and would tell me how his dad wants to buy one of my bikes. The kid would always wave at me as I passed and many times I saw him walking the street looking very mad and talking to himself. This kid’s mom had this young Mexican lesbian who was in love with her. I saw her once riding a BMX bike while I was getting my mail. She was drunk and stopped to ask me what was up. I just looked up at her and said nothing. She mumbled something and rode off. She broke the other woman’s arm once in a drunken rage. The woman with the kid died a few months ago due to a bleeding ulcer due to drinking too much. She was in her late 30's. The Target woman proceeded to tell me how the boy was placed with a lesbian couple. I told this woman I was gay because I didn’t want her to start bashing gay people. Then she started telling me how she has nothing against gays. And started rattling off all these gay people she knew and kept saying how she knew I was gay. I was getting uncomfortable and said I didn’t have anything against straight people. She didn’t get it. I wanted to get away from her but I was frozen there in Target. I hate Target. The one in the valley anyway. After standing there talking for a half hour her daughter came over and said “are you still talking?” The woman told me I should stop by anytime then we parted ways. I left the store right after that and made my way to the 99 cent store next-door. As I was shopping I saw myself in the mirror and just could have lied down and died. I looked fat, dumpy and my hair was all straight, parted in the middle and flat. I was wearing baggy jeans, a chain wallet and a t-shirt with a skull on it. I smelt bad too because I had slept a sweaty sleep and had the t-shirt I slept in on. There I was in the 99 cent store buying cleaning products. When I pulled into my driveway and saw my busted out windows covered with plywood, a pirate shower curtain and some thin hard plastic I thought I have to get the hell out of here. I wondered how I let myself go and how I ended up a fat lazy piece of trailer trash. Since I have been unemployed I have lived on cheap cookies, popcorn, chips and noodles. Perhaps it’s because I am 47 and have given up. The only family I have are siblings who I hardly hear from. I was very close to my parents. My sibs weren’t as close to them. I was the baby and spoiled. My sibs are always saying what an awful childhood they had yet I thought mine was pretty cool. My dad taught me how to ride motorcycles; we would go camping and even travel back east a few times. We even went to the 1964 Worlds Fair in New York. My teenage years weren’t so great and that’s when most of my loneliness started as well as me realizing that I was different then most people who lived in the awful right wing city of Simi Valley but that is another story. I use to think white trash was interesting and funny but now that I have made it to the bottom of the landfill it’s not funny and its down right sad. I hate it and I need to dig myself out because the trash truck doesn’t pick up large items.
We are still at Target and she is still talking. She tells me about this woman who was fresh out of prison that I saw around here for a while with her son. She was staying at the house of Grandma for a while. Her little son must have been around ten. He loved motorcycles and would tell me how his dad wants to buy one of my bikes. The kid would always wave at me as I passed and many times I saw him walking the street looking very mad and talking to himself. This kid’s mom had this young Mexican lesbian who was in love with her. I saw her once riding a BMX bike while I was getting my mail. She was drunk and stopped to ask me what was up. I just looked up at her and said nothing. She mumbled something and rode off. She broke the other woman’s arm once in a drunken rage. The woman with the kid died a few months ago due to a bleeding ulcer due to drinking too much. She was in her late 30's. The Target woman proceeded to tell me how the boy was placed with a lesbian couple. I told this woman I was gay because I didn’t want her to start bashing gay people. Then she started telling me how she has nothing against gays. And started rattling off all these gay people she knew and kept saying how she knew I was gay. I was getting uncomfortable and said I didn’t have anything against straight people. She didn’t get it. I wanted to get away from her but I was frozen there in Target. I hate Target. The one in the valley anyway. After standing there talking for a half hour her daughter came over and said “are you still talking?” The woman told me I should stop by anytime then we parted ways. I left the store right after that and made my way to the 99 cent store next-door. As I was shopping I saw myself in the mirror and just could have lied down and died. I looked fat, dumpy and my hair was all straight, parted in the middle and flat. I was wearing baggy jeans, a chain wallet and a t-shirt with a skull on it. I smelt bad too because I had slept a sweaty sleep and had the t-shirt I slept in on. There I was in the 99 cent store buying cleaning products. When I pulled into my driveway and saw my busted out windows covered with plywood, a pirate shower curtain and some thin hard plastic I thought I have to get the hell out of here. I wondered how I let myself go and how I ended up a fat lazy piece of trailer trash. Since I have been unemployed I have lived on cheap cookies, popcorn, chips and noodles. Perhaps it’s because I am 47 and have given up. The only family I have are siblings who I hardly hear from. I was very close to my parents. My sibs weren’t as close to them. I was the baby and spoiled. My sibs are always saying what an awful childhood they had yet I thought mine was pretty cool. My dad taught me how to ride motorcycles; we would go camping and even travel back east a few times. We even went to the 1964 Worlds Fair in New York. My teenage years weren’t so great and that’s when most of my loneliness started as well as me realizing that I was different then most people who lived in the awful right wing city of Simi Valley but that is another story. I use to think white trash was interesting and funny but now that I have made it to the bottom of the landfill it’s not funny and its down right sad. I hate it and I need to dig myself out because the trash truck doesn’t pick up large items.
Bob
The man who set himself on fire
A few years ago when I was working for this awful place called Warehouse Discount Center I had made friends with this obese bi-polar woman who thought she was a healer. She turned out to be just plain insane. I also made friends with this scary meth freak woman whose body was so mis shaped. She was overweight but really short and had this long bleached blonde hair with a pink tint. She was in her forties and liked to go out with boys. She also would start talking baby talk when she talked about spending the day with her niece. I was desperate for friends at the time so I invited them over for New Years Eve. Miss Bi-Polar was the first to arrive. I greeted her at the driveway and I kept hearing strange noises coming from the mobile home across from me. When she got out of the car I asked her if she could hear the grunt like noises but she told me she thought it was coming from a TV. I took her bag of beer and chips as we walked into my mobile home. We sat at my table drinking beer as she told about how she use to be married to a Texas Drug runner and how they had a landing strip for planes to land. I believed her at the time but now I wonder if it was even true. Then the Pink cradle robber came over and she put Janis Joplin on the cd player. When she started dancing around I felt ill by the sight of her. My mobile had turned into a David Lynch film. After midnight the pink cradle robber left but Miss Bi-Polar had to spend the night on my sofa because she was drunk. I heard her the next morning throwing up in the bucket I left for her and heard her leaving. I got up out of bed when a few minutes later I heard sirens. I looked out my window to see the paramedics wheeling out the guy across from me. The fire dept was all over the place. I found out a few days later that the guy had set himself on fire. He was a drunk and had been burning himself all night. He got so drunk that he went out to his shed to get some gasoline. He poured it all over his lap and lit a match. He did manage to put himself out at some point. A neighbor who was taking her early morning jog heard his screams for help and called 911. I visited the guy in the hospital and he was a mess. They weren't sure he was going to make it. They said it was the booze that saved his life. He might have died if he hadn't been so drunk. It had been a miracle that the guy survived. But then again if he hadn't been drinking he wouldn't have set himself on fire. I guess.
A few years ago when I was working for this awful place called Warehouse Discount Center I had made friends with this obese bi-polar woman who thought she was a healer. She turned out to be just plain insane. I also made friends with this scary meth freak woman whose body was so mis shaped. She was overweight but really short and had this long bleached blonde hair with a pink tint. She was in her forties and liked to go out with boys. She also would start talking baby talk when she talked about spending the day with her niece. I was desperate for friends at the time so I invited them over for New Years Eve. Miss Bi-Polar was the first to arrive. I greeted her at the driveway and I kept hearing strange noises coming from the mobile home across from me. When she got out of the car I asked her if she could hear the grunt like noises but she told me she thought it was coming from a TV. I took her bag of beer and chips as we walked into my mobile home. We sat at my table drinking beer as she told about how she use to be married to a Texas Drug runner and how they had a landing strip for planes to land. I believed her at the time but now I wonder if it was even true. Then the Pink cradle robber came over and she put Janis Joplin on the cd player. When she started dancing around I felt ill by the sight of her. My mobile had turned into a David Lynch film. After midnight the pink cradle robber left but Miss Bi-Polar had to spend the night on my sofa because she was drunk. I heard her the next morning throwing up in the bucket I left for her and heard her leaving. I got up out of bed when a few minutes later I heard sirens. I looked out my window to see the paramedics wheeling out the guy across from me. The fire dept was all over the place. I found out a few days later that the guy had set himself on fire. He was a drunk and had been burning himself all night. He got so drunk that he went out to his shed to get some gasoline. He poured it all over his lap and lit a match. He did manage to put himself out at some point. A neighbor who was taking her early morning jog heard his screams for help and called 911. I visited the guy in the hospital and he was a mess. They weren't sure he was going to make it. They said it was the booze that saved his life. He might have died if he hadn't been so drunk. It had been a miracle that the guy survived. But then again if he hadn't been drinking he wouldn't have set himself on fire. I guess.
Cami
It had been a pretty aimless day. Since I have been unemployed I have taken to walking around Chatsworth. Today I decide to walk to the corner 99cent store. Its not the real 99 cent store but a knock off. It’s a 99 cent plus store as the sign says. There is a little Asian woman that sits behind the counter who always says hi but you can never see her until you follow where the voice came from. I bought some gardening shears for a few bucks and went on my way. On a week day during the day the only people that are walking on the streets in the valley are the homeless,mentally ill and me. I was exhausted by the time I arrived home so I tried to take a nap. Naps only make me sad and make me think more about my pathetic life. So I got up and turned on Oprah. As Michael Moore talked about the heath care system with Oprah and her panel of guests I just started crying. I got myself together when the sounds of barking dogs on the attack took me outside to investigate. I saw a little white Chihuahua chasing this woman and her terrier mix down the trailer park street. Then I saw a hunchbacked women yelling after the white dog. Her name is Cami and she has scolioisis. She is on methadone because she was so addicted to the pain killers they gave her for her back pain. When I first moved into the trailer park Cami’s back was only slightly hunched. Now since she decided to have lipo instead of spinal surgery her back is really hunched and she can almost reach the ground. Its too late now to get the surgery because the scolioisis has advanced too fast and will eventually kill her. She couldn’t run due to her hunchback. I ran over to her and asked her if she needed help. She thanked me as I tried to catch this little dog they call DD. DD meant dumpster dog because she found him behind a dumpster as a puppy half dead. The dog kept barking at me and trying to bite me. I sat on the ground and finally got DD to play with me. Cami told me all about DD,her teenage kid who has autism and her new roommate Paula who also has autism. As Cami talked I kept thinking how really attractive she was and how sad it is that this woman has this awful hunchback. Then her roommate Paula came walking down the street. A forty something woman with one rotting tooth in her front upper teeth,thined dyed red hair,clothes that hung on her body like rags and really dirty shoes. The dog was overjoyed to see her and went crazy jumping all over her. She went into the house saying she had a bad headache. I just kept thinking how attractive Cami was and how sad such an attractive woman had a hunchback. When DD took a pooh Cami inspected it closely since she didn’t have to bend over to look at it. She kept asking me if the pooh looked funny or wormy. Paula came back out to take the dog in with her. I told Cami that I better get back to my dogs. When I got home I just kept thinking how sad it was that such an attractive woman had a hunchback.
Annette
I live in a trailer park though most people who live here call it a mobile home park and are offended by the words trailer park. The residents believe that it is an upscale mobile home park but to me it’s a trailer park. I had a neighbor a few years ago named Annette. She was taking care of her invalid mother. Annette was a fifty something drunk who always wore a straw cowboy hat and rode her bicycle all over Chatsworth. One time a neighbor told me that he saw her on her bike going too fast over a speed bump. Her bike flipped over and she went flying into the ground. He said she was so drunk she didn’t feel anything. She just stood back up,mumbled something and got right back on her bike. One day when I had just returned home from work and had just pulled into my driveway I heard a noise. When I got out of my car I heard someone saying help me in this faint weak voice. At first I tried to ignore it but then I decided to go to my backyard. When I looked over my two foot fence I saw Annette lying on the ground in her backyard. I jumped over the fence. Annette was face down covered in ants and her own piss. I helped her up and sat her on a chair. The ground was covered with empty cans of Old Milwaukee. When I asked her if she had been drinking all day she said yes and then asked me where she was. When I told her she was at home she asked me who I was. As I walked her to her back door she kept telling me not to tell her mother about this. I left her as she walked into the trailer and I told her to go drink some water. A few days later this man showed up at her place. His name was Dylan and she had met him at a bar up the street. He had a huge belly and his legs where a dark gray. Every time I drove into my driveway he would be in Annette's backyard drinking from a bottle of cheap Vodka and smoking filterless Camels. When he would see me he’d yell out my name “CAATTTTT”. Sometimes I would go over there to see what he wanted but most of the time he just wanted to say hi. It wasn’t too long after he moved in that Annette's mother died. Dylan was always doing yard work. I don’t know how he managed to do so much yard work when he was so drunk all the time. One time he told me he accidentally chopped up a snake with the weed whacker. I really don’t think there was ever a snake. He tried to show it to me but couldn’t find it. One day this red headed young guy who looked like Howdy Doody showed up. They made him a little room on their enclosed patio. His name was Brian and they treated him like he was their son. They were always screaming and yelling at each other. A few times when I would be leaving for work I saw Brian throwing up off the stairs outside his room. One time he turned to me to tell me he was puking blood. Brain moved out and moved into his girlfriends house. One night I had just went to bed when I heard the sirens. When I went to my window I saw that the fire department and police were next door. When I went over there Annette was crying and said that Dylan had been taking a long time in the shower. When she went to check on him she found him dead on the bathroom floor. I stayed with Annette until Brian and his girlfriend came. It turned out that his body was on ice at the coroners office for a long time because Dylan was not really Dylan. I never found out if they figured out who he really was. I think he ended up being a John Doe. One night I woke up in the middle of the night to see Dylan standing in the corner of my bedroom with his arms folded looking very angry. When I called out his name and told myself that it was just Dylan he disappeared. I think it was his ghost and he was angry because his body was still on ice. After Dylan died Brian never came around instead a big fat lady named Signey was staying there. It was someone Annette found on the street. Signey drove around in a small two door beat up Datson that was always filled with junk. One day Annette came over crying telling me that Signey wouldn’t move out and was beating her. She took me over to show me all the junk Signey had collected during the night as she dumpster dived. There was a huge heap of junk piled in the living room almost to the ceiling. Then her meth head friends started showing up at all times of the night. The police started visiting the place but would do nothing at first. One night the cops came and took Signey away. When Annette received her eviction notice she decided to move to North Carolina with her sister. As they were moving they placed a dumpster out front and threw away everything including Signeys garbage pile. One night about six of her meth friends came buy to dumpster dive. I called the cops and when they pulled up all the meth fiends scattered like roaches. One guy jumped the back fence leaving his motorcycle in the front of the trailer. The cops didn’t go after them. They just let them take off. The trailer park manager never did anything to help. She must have been afraid and it even took her about a year to get them evicted. When they moved they left five cats behind. Signey would often came by at night and leave cat food. A few times she knocked on my door to ask if I had scene the cats around. I ended up adopting one of the younger cats who was friendly. The other cats slowly disappeared. There was one big black cat that stayed around until last year. He hurt its leg and was dragging it along until it was a bloody pulp. A neighbor managed to catch him and take him to the vet. It wasn’t long after that that some little trailer trash kids found the cat dead in a neighbors rose garden. Annettes trailer was dismantled and taken away. They put up a nice new upscale mobile home in its place. My new neighbors are a nice family from Bulgaria who put up a tent in their backyard and like to smoke pipes.
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